Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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