You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
