I CAN MOONWALK!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
