Ambien. No doubt about it.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
