i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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