is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize