Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
