and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
