so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
