Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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