When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
