hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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