If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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