Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize