I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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