And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
