I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?