well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
