i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
