Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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