When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I cut my penus on the lid.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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