I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i dont even know how to be here
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
