Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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