Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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