Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
