Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
