I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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