We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
