I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
