White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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