Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Panties = found
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
