he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
