I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
