A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
