We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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