I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Randomize
