return my video game
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
