oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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