he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
