wrigley field is MILF paradise
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
