Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i was born a porn star she said
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
