best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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