I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
