I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
