I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
