I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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