I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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