wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
