Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We got so high we made milksteak
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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