As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
