Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
