She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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