True but thats because hes a fetus.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
