ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
