Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
