i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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