babies were throwing up all over the place
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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