my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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