a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i dont even know how to be here
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize