Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
