I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
my poor anus
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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